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Saturday, January 2, 2010

Husband Telling Wife He Doesn't Like Her

Q: Can a man tell his wife honestly that he does not like her?
A: Would a husband like it if his wife tells him that? This life is short; it must come to an end. If there are certain things in her that you dislike, surely she has some qualities in her which are likeable. Focus on those likeable qualities in her and also the shortcomings within yourself. This will make forbearance easier upon you. Do not break her heart. If you maintain Sabr, you will reap great benefits in this world and assuredly in the hereafter. By keeping her happy and suppressing your feeling of dislike for her, Allah Ta'aala will grant you elevated stages, Inshaa Allah.
If your son-in-law tells that to your daughter, as a father it would definitely cause you grief. Similarly, your wife is someone's daughter, someone's sister, etc. Sayyidina Abu Hurayrah (Radhiyallaahu Anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam said: A Mu'min (believing male) should not despise a Mu'minah (a believing woman). If he dislikes a quality in her, there will be another quality in her which he will be pleased with. (Mishkaat V2 P236). This Hadeeth refers particularly to husband and wife. The lesson in this Hadeeth is to focus on the good qualities of the wife and to ignore those aspects of her that you do not like.
May Allah Ta'aala grant you Sabr and harmony. Aameen.

Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked and approved by: Mufti Siraj Desai