Son Massaging Mother

Q: Is it permissible for a son to rub ointment (Deep Heat) on his elderly (>60yrs) mother's neck, shoulder and back, bearing in mind that her shoulder and upper back would be exposed and she lays on her stomach while this is done? She has been experiencing pain in that area and the intention is to treat the pain with the ointment. Should her husband rather do this?

A. It will be permissible for you to rub her neck. The shoulders and back should be rubbed by your father. If for some reason he cannot do it and you are compelled, have a sheet covering her. Place your hands under the sheet while rubbing her, keeping the body closed throughout the process.

Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked and approved by: Mufti Siraj Desai

Boy Kissing Boy

Q: Under what conditions does Sharia allow me to kiss an Islamic friend? I am a boy and I love a boy for Allah and Islam. Can I kiss him on neck or cheeks. I have seen many people and Islamic scholars kiss each other on the face when they meet, especially Arabs.

A. It is not permissible for a young boy to kiss another boy. This is stated in the Fiqh Kitabs such as Raddul-Muhtaar and others. The Arabs who do this do it because of a custom among their communities. This is allowed between elders if it is part of their tradition.

It is permissible for a male to kiss the hand of an Aalim or senior out of respect.

Mufti Siraj Desai

Son Looking after Mother

Q: Is it permissible for a son to hug his mother? Is it also permissible for a son to rub ointment on his mothers hand or leg if she requests him to do so? His wife finds this totally unacceptable. Is this permissible?

A. It is permissible and an act of great reward for a son to hug his mother. It is also permissible to rub her with ointment. A son should serve his mother as much as possible. The objection of the wife in these matters is totally unacceptable.

Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked and approved by: Mufti Siraj Desai

Status of Mother-in-law

Q: I read recently that even after divorce then the wife's mother remains your mother inlaw. My wife died a few years ago but I am still in daily contact with her mother as my son visits her daily. Is my deceased wife's mother still considered to be my mother inlaw and what would the situation be if I should ever remarry?

A. She is still your mother-in-law because you were married to her daughter and you and her are still Mahrams; hence Nikah between the two of you is Haraam. This is what is meant when it is said that she is still your mother-in law.

However, you should adopt a certain amount of Hijaab from her, especially if she is not very old.
Even if you remarry, she can still be called your mother-in-law. But to avoid confusion you may refer to her as your “ex mother-in-law” (if it does not offend her!) as opposed to your current mother-in-law.

Mufti Siraj Desai

Revert Taking Islamic Surname

Q: A sister, revert to Islam, has no known father. Her current surname is of a maternal family member not closely related by blood. May she choose an Islamic surname in this case, or use (her name)bint(mother's name)? She knows name change is not obligatory, but wishes to be identified as a Muslimah.

A: It is necessary for Islamic identification that this sister adopts an Islamic name. Given the background she comes from it will be permissible for her to take an Islamic surname and also permissible to use the term “bint” between her first name and the name of her mother, as indicated in the question. The latter is better, in our opinion.

And Allah Ta’ala Knows best

Mufti Siraj Desai

Interacting with Female Cousins

Q: Can my husband add female cousins on his facebook account? And can he kiss his female cousins or shake hands with them?

A. Strict Hijaab has to be observed between those males and females who can marry each other. This includes cousins. It will be HARAAM to have contact with them via facebook. Kissing them and shaking their hand is also completely Haraam.

Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked and approved by: Mufti Siraj Desai

Ladies Singing

Q: Is it permissible for a male to listen to a female singing?

A. Many Ahaadeeth condemn singing by women.
The following Hadeeth is recorded in Tirmidhi Shareef:
It is narrated by Sayyidina Imraan ibni Husayn (Radhiyallaahu Anhu) that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi wa Sallam) said: “In this Ummah there will be earthquakes, disfiguration, and showers of stones.” A person from among the Muslims said: “O Rasulullah! When will this be”? He replied: “When singing girls and musical instruments will become rife, and (different types) of wines will be consumed.”

Many jurists are of the opinion that the voice of a female is ‘Aurah’, i.e. part of the female body that must be concealed. Therefore, even if a non-Mahram female is singing Nazams, it will not be permissible to listen to her.

The following is recorded in ‘Shaami’ V3 P255: The melodious voice of a female is ‘Aurah’.
She will not say the Talbiyah aloud (during Hajj), because her voice is ‘Aurah’.

If this is forbidden, listening to their singing is undoubtedly not allowed.

Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked and approved by: Mufti Siraj Desai

Husband and Female Friends on Facebook

Q: My husband has a facebook account and on there he has female friends, something which I am not totally comfortable with. He says it's nothing personal, just time to time messages or something of that sort. Is this permissible and how can I convince him that it is wrong Islamically?

A. It is not permissible for a man to have ANY contact with a non-Mahram female, be it telephonic, via sms, or mixit or facebook messaging, unless the communication is strictly business. So your husband is wrong if he thinks he can just chat over the net to other females. This is totally Haraam and is Zina of the fingers (typing out messages to a non-Mahram woman) just as it is Zina of the tongue to speak to her and Zina of the hands to touch and so forth.

Secondly, Islam teaches that any act that leads to sin or becomes the stepping stone towards sin is also sinful and must be avoided. Clearly this act of your husband will lead to sin. For example, he might be fantasizing over these women after reading their messages. In fact, from my experience in dealing with these cases, most men share crude and rude messages with women over facebook and mixit, but because it is easy to cover their dirty tracks, they lie and say ‘we are just communicating for fun’. This is their idea of fun, but Shari'ah condemns it. Please show this answer to your husband, or send it to his mail or if possible get it to him via this facebook thing.

Allah make it easy for you and grant him the ability to change his life, Aameen.

Mufti Siraj Desai

Disobedience to Mother

Q: About 25 years ago I went to visit my mother. One day during lunch time meal she was giving me motherly advice about leading a decent life. Somehow for no apparent reason I got angry at her. I had bread in my hand and threw it to my mother’s plate and walked away. At that time I felt no remorse of my horrible action against my beloved mother and I never apologised to my her. The same year my mother passed away and I never asked her for forgiveness. Today when I remember my transgression to my beloved mother I feel so guilty and ashamed of myself. What should I do to remedy this since my mother is late now?

A: Never lose hope in the Mercy of Allah Ta'aala. The very fact that you regret the action is a good sign. You cannot seek her forgiveness because she has already passed away, but you can do the following:

a) Make Du'aa in abundance for her.

b) Whenever possible, give charity on her name.

c) Perform Nafl Salaah, recitation of the Qur'aan etc. and ask Allah to pass the reward of that act to her.

d) If your parents are buried nearby then make an effort to visit their graves every Friday. It comes in the Hadeeth that a person who visits the graves of his parents every Friday will be written down in the Records of Allah as an obedient child. (Mishkaatul-Masaabeeh) When visiting their graves read Surah Ikhlaas, Faatihah, and any portion of the Qur'aan, and send the rewards to them. Also make Du'aa for them at the graveside.

e) When reading Yaseen daily, send the reward of this Surah to your mother and father.By doing the above-mentioned, hopefully Allah Ta'aala will forgive you and have mercy on you. May Allah Ta'aala grant you ease. Aameen.

Moulana Yusuf Laher
and Mufti Siraj Desai

Video Chatting with Wife

Q: Is video chatting with one's wife permissible?

A: Video chatting with one's wife is permissible.

And Allah knows best

Mufti Siraj Desai

Birthday Celebrations

Q: Many people view birthday celebrations as not a Bidah (innovation). I see it as an innovation due to the fact that Allah has not ordained it in the Quraan, nor has the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) ever advised us to celebrate it and make a festivity of the day. As there is no difference between "good" and "bad" bidah. I would like to know what your view is.

A: Birthdays will not be termed bid’ah, for bid’ah is an innovation in a religious matter. People who celebrate birthdays don’t do so for any religious reason, nor do they consider it an act of devotion. However, we will call this an un-Islamic custom because of its pagan origins (as this article proves). It, therefore, becomes unlawful.

As regards the two types of bid’ah, it should be noted that ulema have made a distinction between good and bad bid’ah based on the statement of Hazrat Umar (radhiyallahu anhu) who termed the 20-rakat taraweeh salaah as a “good” bid’ah. Generally every bid’ah is evil and the bid’ah that is referred to as ‘good’ is in reality not a bid’ah but an act that was introduced for the benefit of Deen. The definition of bid’ah as something not mentioned in Quran and Sunnah is not a complete definition of the term. There are numerous aspects of Deen that we do nowadays that are not found in Quran and Sunnah, such as the modern designs of mosques, erection of minarets, establishment of Islamic institutes with boarding facilities; using internet and email to propagate The Deen, printing Qurans and Islamic books through current methods, etc. These are all acts related to Deen, but are there for the benefit of Deen. So we need to make a distinction between things that are innovative but are needed to sustain our Deen, and those things that are unnecessary and evil bid’ah.

The proper definition of bid’ah is: The introduction of any such act or statement into Deen which is not found in Quran or Sunnah, nor in the lives of the Sahaaba, in spite of the need for it in those times. Ponder over this definition and you will notice everything falls into perspective And Allah knows best.

Mufti Siraj Desai

Masturbation in Islam

Q: Is masturbation allowed in Islam?

A: Masturbation is forbidden in Islam. Sayyidina Ataa' was asked regarding this. He said that a group of people will be resurrected on Qiyaamah and their hands will be pregnant. It will be these people who had been doing this and did not repent. Their fault will be witnessed by everyone on Qiyaamah. Sayyidina Sa'eed ibni Jubayr says that Allah will punish those people who play with their private parts.

Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked and approved by: Mufti Siraj Desai

Drug Addiction

Q: I am a drug addict. I have been taking pain killers (12-14 capsules) everyday for the past 3 years regularly and am fed up with it. I want to quit it but am not able to do so. Whenever I make up my mind to quit it my body starts aching, my heads starts exploding, my whole body starts aching uncontrollably and I go into severe depression due to which I have to take those capsules again so that I can get up on my feet and work. I am not able to get up from the bed in the morning if I don't take them.I just want to know if somebody has done black magic on me or what?

A: This is not the effect of black magic but the effect of the Nafs. You need to do two things to rectify the situation:

(1) Take admission at a rehab centre near you. At the rehab centre you will be weaned of the drugs that you are consuming. If there is no rehab available nearby then go to any hospital and find out of they have a detox department. There they will give you medicine and treatment to detoxify your system and remove the effect of the drugs. You must do this urgently.

(2) Establish a spiritual contact with a Shaykh (Murshid). Explain to him your condition. Through his guidance, Du'aas and Zikr it will become much easier upon you to leave this habit. By doing this you will secure the help of Allah Ta'aala.

Be regular on Salaah, recitation of the Qur'aan Shareef, etc. Frequent the talks of the Ulama. Build up your Taqwa and Inshaa Allah Ta'aala you will eventually be cured from this malady.

May Allah Ta'aala make it easy upon you. Aameen.

Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked and approved by: Mufti Siraj Desai

Concept of Soul-mates

Q: Is it possible that one would recognise your soul-mate by just seeing them? ]

A: The concept of a soul-mate is not recognized in Islam. Rather, it is a Western concept. Many youth labour under the false concept of soul-mate recognition, and in the process become intimate with females. This is totally Haraam (prohibited). The closest to the soul-mate concept we find in the Shariah is the Nikah (marriage) of a person; one’s spouse is written down in Taqdeer (predestination).

Facebook

Q: Please advice me regarding facebook. What about the husband who allows his wife to do this? What about women in purdah on facebook?

A: For a female to indulge in any activity that promotes herself to outsiders is not allowed. This is proven from many verses of Quran and Ahadeeth of our Rasool (sallallahu alayhi wasallam). For this reason a woman does not give athaan, khutba or lectures; she does not lead the salaah. Going onto facebook entails publicising oneself and interacting with other people. For a woman to do so, or for the husband to allow his wife to do this, is not permissible in Islam. Even a man who chats and communicates with females over facebook is committing a major sin.

Posting photographs of oneself on facebook is also not permissible We need to abstain from these indulgences that make our iemaan weak. Please pass this message on to our brothers and sisters and make them aware of the wrong in facebook and similar programs.

Mufti Siraj Desai

Dua for False Allegations

Q: What can a person do or pray when someone tells lies about them. My far cousin has told someone who was to come propose marriage to me, lies regarding me and he believed her. So is there anything I can do or pray to clear these lies?

A: One should be entirely sure that the far cousin had done this. Do not base this on suspicion and hearsay. If it is confirmed, ask someone reliable to convey to the boy the reality of the matter. Forgive that person and make Sabr. The rewards of forgiving and Sabr is very great.
Recite in abundance:

حَسْبُنَا اللهُ وَ نِعْمَ الْوَكِيْلُ ، نِعْمَ الْـمَوْلى وَ نِعْمَ النَّصِيْرُ ،

HASBUNALLAAHU WA NI'MAL WAKEEL. NI'MAL MAULAA WA NI'MAN NASEER

Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked and approved by: Mufti Siraj Desai

Suing for Damages

Q: I am Hafizul Quran. One day I was playing cricket with my team mate, during match we had some argument and after that he hit me on my face with cricket bat. After that one of my friends(my bosses nephew) who works with me exchanged heated words with the guy who hit me. The guy who hit me later on realized that he made a big mistake so he took me to private hospital, paid R5,000 for my medical expenses and apologized. We hugged each other and everything was finished. Later on my boss who is the Trustee of the Musjid and his nephew asked me to press charges against that boy who hit me (to teach him a lesson). I went to the police and laid the charge against the boy. The police brought him to the police station and in front of the investigating officer and another Muslim brother I told him that I don't want to do this thing but my boss who is trustee of the Musjid who is like a father to me asked me to do so. Next day my boss and his nephew sent back that R5,000 for the hospital. After that they asked me to sue that boy for R100,000 for damaging, insulting and humiliating in public. My question is: Is this the right way to solve the problem? If I win the case or an out of court settlement takes place and I get money, will that money will be Halaal for me ?

A. Hafiz Saheb, Allah Ta'aala has blessed you with the gift of Hifzul Qur'aan. Do not waste your time in futile play. You have now seen the result of this futile act. The person who hit you apologized and hugged you and you forgave him. After making peace among yourselves, it is extremely wrong for you to report the matter to the police and lay a charge, even if you are being encouraged by others to do so. After forgiving him, you cannot retract your forgiveness. After forgiving him, whether it is an out of court settlement or the court awards you the money, that money is Haraam for you. You will have to return that money to that person. You now owe him an apology. The Qur'aan has promised reward for a person who forgives. You received that reward when you forgave him. By laying a charge after forgiving him, you have destroyed that great reward from Allah Ta'aala.

May Allah Ta'aala guide you. Aameen.

Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked and approved by: Mufti Siraj Desai

Nature of Wet Dreams

Q: I wanted to find out if it is normal to have wet dreams at night. One makes every effort to avoid lustful glances.

A: A wet dream is a natural way of the body expelling excessive semen. It is normal and no sin is incurred. Yes, protect the gaze as much as possible and keep the heart and thoughts clean. If the wet dreams are occurring often, recite Surah Taariq (in Juz 30) before sleeping.

Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked and approved by: Mufti Siraj Desai

Encouraging Beggars

Q: We receive on average 8 beggars a day at our house and we always give them something to eat or some change because I understand it is our duty to do so. Recently three of our neighbors mentioned to us that we should stop encouraging begging by giving them and that in future these beggars will steal from us and the surrounding homes because they know what is happening in our area/street. On the one hand I must give the beggars and on the other hand are the rights of the neighbors. What should we do?

A: Although Shari'ah encourages giving the needy, it also grants one the right of security and protection. If you truly feel that they can become a threat to you and your neighbours, then stop giving them and discourage them from coming to your door. If among them there are those who are genuinely in need and you feel that they will not be a threat because of old age, etc., do not stop giving them.

Moulana Yusuf Laher

Mufti Siraj Saheb adds: It has been reliably learnt and also experienced that the small children that come for bread are actually not in real need. Their motive is to check out the houses and inform would-be burglars. It has happened on more than one occasion that a child slipped into the house while the housewife went inside to fetch bread. This kid hid somewhere and when night fell, opened the door to allow bigger thieves inside. Needless to say, they ransacked the entire house. Thanks to Allah they never touched the sleeping occupants. Under these circumstances, Shari'ah will permit one turning these kids away and refusing to give them any handouts.

Checked and approved by:
Mufti Siraj Desai

Birthday/Anniversary Parties

Q: Can we wish our friends on birthdays, anniversaries, etc. and can we attend parties on these occasions? Some people say there is nothing wrong in attending such parties.

A: Wishing people happy birthday and anniversary, attending such parties and anniversaries, are all customs of the non-Muslims and not permissible. Birthday parties originate from the customs of Pagans and idol-worshipper, so Islamically it should be avoided. Furthermore, much money is wasted on these unnecessary parties, and in such events there will always be mixed gatherings which makes it all the more haraam.