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Tuesday, March 2, 2010

When to Marry

Q: I am 19 years old, going into university next year. I am hoping to finish my hifz and am involved with dawah activites also. The main point is that I am not earning, but I feel I need to get married. I have found a perfect spouse for myself, whom I believe will also increase me in taqwa and acts of rightousness. With the points above in mind, when would you recommend me to get married? How do I approach my parents becuase they may think I am too young etc.?

The Hadeeth mentions that when a person is capable of getting married, he should do so. By marrying, one will be saved from many sins, Inshaa Allah Ta'aala. One of the requirements is that a person must provide his wife with a separate place to stay and also fend for her (food, clothing, medicine, etc). It is necessary that you earn to fulfil this requirement of marriage. If you feel that you should get married soon, forego your studies for the moment, work so that you may be able to support a wife and get married. You can study later. On the other hand, if you are positive that you can go through studies without getting married and without committing sin, study first and marry later. The other alternative is to secure a bursary that will be sufficient for you and a wife during your studies.

Mufti Siraj adds: You may also marry now but start living together later in life, once you have secured yourself a good job. In the meantime she can continue living with her parents. Once you have made Nikah the two of you can communicate and meet freely because you are now Halaal for each other, but this will only be possible if her parents agree.
May Allah guide you towards the best decision, Aameen.

Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked and approved by: Mufti Siraj Desai