Problems at Home

Q: Sometimes I feel I just want to get married and get out of this house. Everyday there’s some new problem. I feel like I don’t belong here. My views are so different to every one else’s. I love my parents but I can’t understand the way they think. There is no peace in our lives. I feel I need to do something about it now.

A: Your problem might not so easily be solved by your leaving the home. Furthermore it is not advisable to rush into marriage just to get out of an environment that you are not comfortable with. Who knows, it might be a case of jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Out of haste, you might choose the wrong partner and end up in bigger misery. No doubt, if the right boy comes along, the ideal thing would be for you to get married. So think carefully. It was the right thing to do to seek advice. It is clear that part of your problem lies in the views and attitudes of your parents. However, you have to make sabr and resign yourself to their way of thinking and behaving. Avoid getting embroiled in arguments with your parents over Deeni issues. If they preclude you from expressing certain Deeni sentiments, don’t stress out and become agitated. Allah Ta’ala will not hold you responsible for what is not in your control. Consider this a test from Allah Ta’ala; and believe you me, it’s going to make a stronger person out of you. Such self-discipline is the ideal way to prepare a young girl for marriage. Finally make lots of dua to Allah Ta’ala to change your situation, for undoubtedly He accepts the duas of the desperate. If possible, someone should speak to your parents to appraise them of the problem.